Do you ever feel like your kids never listen to you? They disrespect you, tune you out or ignore your requests?
“They should just do what I say”
That is the thought that you might be thinking. Which is ok but how do you feel when you think that thought?
You probably nag, complain or maybe even stop requesting things because you wonder…what’s the point of even asking? We assume our kids won’t do what we want.
It’s time to try something else.
When we think the thought “they should just listen to me” we are not coming from a calm and abundant place. Children are wired to follow calm. I definitely noticed this with my own kids, when I am calm and confident, they tend to listen more.
What if you questioned that thought?
Should your kids really do what you say ALL the time? Do they really never listen? What if you did have a child that listened all the time, is that developmentally ok?
Why should they “just listen” you might be wondering.
When we are too controlling and want our kids to behave a certain way without any push back we end up with kids that either comply with us or defy us
Children that comply, end up being people or parent pleasers. They have a hard time making decisions for themselves because they seek approval from others and are more subject to peer pressure.
When a child is defying you then they tend to have this “I’ll show you” sort of attitude and end up doing things opposite of what you want in order to get on your nerves.
The problem when we say something like “they need to listen” comes when we think by them behaving a certain way says something about you as a parent or you think them changing their behavior will make you happy. We think that we will find calm, peace and feel appreciated when we have a child that does something we ask.
Your power and control goes to a child.
The thought “he’s disrespectful” is optional but feels true cause our brain thinks it automatically.
Take control over your emotions by asking yourself, how do you want to show up to your kids? How do you want to show up as a mother?
Choose the appropriate emotion for the circumstance to drive you. Thoughts that might give you energy, instead of draining you such as: nothings gone wrong here, we are figuring this out, I wonder…?
When we have control over our emotions and do show up from a place of calm and love we increase our chances of getting what we want.
And when we operate from that place, simple actions and tactics like, getting down on their level, making eye contact, checking to see if they understand the directions and having them repeat it back to us, become really easy to do.
If your goal is to have your kids think for themselves, make decisions and take responsibility for their actions, start by shifting your focus on how you can be responsible TO your kids. Grab your free mini training on how to actually do that.
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