We all get to a point in the year where we want to start thinking about the next year and a newer version of ourselves.
Think about where you would like to be in a year from now?
What would be different in your life?
Do you maybe want to start a side gig? Loose some weight? Or maybe start to evolve more spiritually?
Whatever it is, imagine you can actually have it by next year, or at least be very well on your way to creating it and living it out.
At the root of getting what we want in our lives is the way that we think about things. It is the habitual thinking patterns that can keep us spinning in a loop and it takes intention to get us out and on the right track.
That is because of this reality:
Your thoughts create your feelings. Your feelings create your actions. Your actions give you your results. Leading to habits.
- Thoughts—>Feelings—->Actions—->Results
All the circumstances in our lives are neutral.
If you change your thought pattern and start to intentionally choosing what you believe, you can change your thinking to get the results that you want.
But it is not as easy as just thinking new thoughts. I wish it was. This is why affirmations really do not work.
You have to believe the new thought that you want to think in order to create the desired feeling to drive you.
Otherwise your brain will reject the thought and it will not work.
This is where the best things comes in: Asking yourself useful questions.
Ask your Mind Questions
You can put your own mind to work by asking effective questions in order to get the answer that you want.
The way to do this is by choosing one question to focus on until you get the answer that you want.
Think of something that you really would like to have an answer to, maybe a goal that you are trying to accomplish. Then set to think of a great question to ask to set your brain to find the answer.
Be aware of asking yourself dead end questions like…Why am I so dumb? Because your brain will go and try to find evidence of why that is true.
Same thing with your kids. Asking “why are they so disrespectful all the time?” Your brain will want to answer it with “cause they are rude, they don’t know manners, they are never listening.”
Keep it to one question. This is useful since it might take some time to come up with the answer.
You can write the question down and keep repeating it daily until you find the answer you want.
The point here is to keep putting your brain to work on that one question.
Here’s how it works…
Your brain is like this amazing computer. When you ask questions, it cannot help but come up with answers.
It will answer anything.
Whatever you tend to focus on is what your brain sees.
If you ask negative questions, then you are more likely to get negative answers.
Ask positive questions and you get positive answers.
Your brain looks for the evidence to prove what you are seeking.
If I ask “how can I drink more water in my day?” your brain will look for ways to set up routines or find ways to measure your water intake.
Answers
The answers that come to you, might surprise you.
You may have new thoughts that try to tell you how impossible something really is or that you have tried that before and it has never worked.
You may even have some fear come up.
Try not to listen to this part of the obstacle.
Just take action.
Important
Questions allow you to change your thinking without trying to force anything.
Thoughts—>Feelings—> Actions—>Results
Knowing this, you will have to practice thinking intentional thoughts.
The problem that we face a lot of the time is that we are so stuck in the habitual way of thinking when it comes to certain circumstances. Some beliefs are deep in our subconscious mind.
Even if you want to change some thought patters, we have trouble doing it.
Asking yourself questions is a way for you to find new thoughts that you can try on and believe without forcing yourself to believing something you don’t yet.
So if you want to create more connection with your spouse or your kids and you do not think it possible for you, instead of thinking “I can create connection with my kids,” you can ask yourself a question like, “how can I create more connection with my kids?”
The reframe of a question is a really powerful tool because it gives you a new believable thought. And those new beliefs will cause your feelings, which cause your actions and create your results.
“But I really don’t know”
Instead of answering “I don’t know” to your question, ask yourself supportive questions.
These will keep you moving forward instead of keeping you stuck, which “I don’t know” tends to do.
For example, if you think you are not sure how to start a workout, you can ask yourself, “what would be the most fun workout for me to start?” or “how can I make my workouts fit into my schedule?”
Good questions to ask yourself
Here are examples of good questions to ask yourself:
- How can I make today better than yesterday?
- How will I celebrate and acknowledge my success?
- Who do I know that could help me with this?
- What am I most proud of today?
- What is the one thing that I want to accomplish this week?
- How can I feel more energetic?
- What can I learn from this experience?
- What are my most important values?
- What would I do if failure wasn’t an option?
- What am I grateful for?
- What’s the person who I want to become thinking about?
- What can I do to live my best life?
If you want amazing answers, ask amazing questions/
Here’s a place to start
If you are working on a specific goal that you want results for, start there with a supportive question. Otherwise here are 4 questions to start you off with.
- “What am I thinking?”
I read somewhere that we are thinking around 70,000 thoughts during the day on default. Write down what you are thinking. This will reveal to you what is in your head. You will find, a lot of the time, that your current results are not that surprising based on your current thoughts.
If you want to know what your future looks like, pay attention to what your thoughts are.
Thoughts—>Feelings—>Actions—>Results
- “How does this thoughts feel?”
If the thought is not producing a good feeling, you may want to change up that thought.
There are going to be times where we are thinking thoughts that create a negative emotion for you.
But doing it this way shows you that it is your choice. It is not something outside of you that is creating your results.
Try to keep your feelings to one word answers for simplicity sake. (happy, sad, fearful, steady, committed, grateful, etc.)
- “Why am I choosing to think this?”
This reminds your mind that every thought is a choice. It gives you that responsibility back and shows your mind that your circumstances are not causing anything, but the way that you think about things.
Example:
- “What am I thinking?” I am thinking that I will never loose any of my baby weight.
- “How does thing thought make me feel?” Hopeless
- “Why am I choosing to think this?” Because I haven’t lost any baby weight yet.
- What result I want?
When you think about the result that you want, you have to narrow it down to how you would be feeling once you have that result.
What would you be thinking once you have that result?
How would you be acting?
In a way, you start to practice being that person now.
Example:
- What result fo I want? To connect more from love with my spouse
- What does someone who has connection with their spouse think about?
- How the little things are what keeps connections strong.
- How to do something kind for their spouse.
- Planning dates.
- No resentment.
- No worry.
- What does a person who is more connected with their spouse feel?
- Confident
- Committed
- Steady
This exercise will help you create that new neuropathway where you can start being the new person in your mind. When you think the thoughts and feel the feelings you want, you create the new version you want to be. And the more time you spend in this space, mentally, the more you will create the real results in your life.
This is the best exercise to work with in your life because it gives you new thoughts that you can think and believe now.
Asking yourself powerful questions will always help you open up your mind instead of keeping you feeling stuck.
It helped me tremendously with my life, I know it will do the same for yours.
You might also want to check out my free courses to help you further along in the journey in one specific area.
Click here to access the free courses.
What’s next? Watch the Youtube video on asking yourself good questions.
