Cooking with kids can be exciting or just a chore. This depends on the day and our mood that day. The thing about moods is that they effect our actions.
The thoughts that you have will drive your actions which drive your feelings.
Did you ever have a conversation with your partner for example about your child regarding the same situation but your partner sees your child completely different than you? That is because your partner was in a completely different mood with their own set of thoughts than you at the moment, living their own reality.
How do you know which mood you’re being led by?
That’s pretty easy. The voice that’s telling you you’re a bad parent is probably not the one you should be paying attention to. Which emotions are you operating from in your parenting? Pay attention the next time you find yourself speaking the all too common sentences like “you should just listen and do what I say.” That is always operating from overwhelm and frustration which is never a place I would like be operating from.
Mood Awareness
We have all been in situations where we are in a reactive state of mind rather than reflective when it comes to our children. Typically in a situation when our moods are low, it is hard to walk away and try not to engage in a teachable moment. We are somehow compelled to want to teach right then and there as if we are never going to have a chance to do it again. Being aware of the mood you are in will show you in which way you should proceed with your child. When in a reactive state of mind it is probably best to not do anything.
If you feel at peace then go ahead and proceed to teach. If you feel like you’re are unsure, proceed with caution, and if you feel angry it is a sure sign that you need to walk away.
Downward Spiral
If you do give into reacting to your low mood, there seems to be a downward spiral that happens. You may
• end up yelling
• slamming doors
• acting like a child yourself
Has this ever happened to you?
What’s even worse is that afterwards we are more down the downward spiral because we end up feeling guilty, then being harsh on ourself for loosing it at our kids once more.
“It was my New Years resolution not to yell! Now look at me, doing it all over again, what’s the point?”
Sound familiar…?
Responsibility For Your Bad Moods
When you mess up, and we ALL do, then take responsibility for it and apologize. No, it does not make you a bad person, moods are just a part of life. Your own kids have moods and they are learning to navigate through them also.
Kids Mood Awareness
Our kids know our moods because they feel them. When I’m in a bad mood, even if I do not say anything to my kids, they tell me.
“Are you in a bad mood mama?”
One of my sons loves to try to make me feel better by saying,
“I love you mama.”
We really cannot fool them. Just like we get a sense about what other people’s mood are, so can our kids in regards to ours.
When you start being aware of the emotions you are operating from, you can often times start replacing those emotions to ones that you would like to operate from. Emotions that drive you are curiosity, courage, compassion, confidence rather then the default ones of frustration, overwhelm and anger.
If you need more concrete ways to end your mama meltdowns, check out the free mini training on how to do that.
Dealing with different moods is part of life. It’s always changing from moment to moment. Going through life just being aware of our moods can help us tremendously. Not only in parenting but other relationships as well.
Much love
Krystina
