Many schools are opening back up in the Fall and it looks completely different than how school was last year. From regulations in a particular state to your own child’s worry, it is definitely a challenging time.
Before going into any of the things that can help your own child feel calm, I will give my own Life Coach advice first since this is the groundwork for anything you choose to do.
How do you want to show up?
Panic and worry are optional.
How you are showing up with how you feel, that is the emotions that your child will pick up on. If you are calm, they will see that there is nothing to worry about, if you are worried and panicked they will see that also.
Your thoughts drive your emotions, and your emotions drive your actions.
What do you need to be thinking in order to show up calm?
Maybe it’s thoughts like:
“There’s nothing that’s gone wrong here”
“This is not an emergency”
“I can do hard things”
If you feel like you don’t have the confidence in this particular situation which causes you to show up calm, think of a time when you were there to support your child with calm and peace.
Find the emotion you want to show up in and then have the conversation with your child about how they feel.
What are you feeling?
Ask your child what emotions they feel about going back to school. Are they excited? Scared? Worried?
Ask them how each emotion feels in their body. Feelings are just sensations in our bodies. Maybe even go a step further and ask them what they are excited about? What are they scared about? They might say:
- “I’m scared to get sick”
- “I’m scared I won’t be playing with my friends”
- “I’m worried about you being too busy to spend time with me”
Listen with Empathy
Acknowledge their point of view. Your goal is to not talk them out of their feeling or point of view but to walk them through the feeling and offer understanding.
“I totally understand how that could be scary, sometimes when I feel scared I feel it in my throat, how about you?”
Reassure them of things that you can assure them in, such as how schools take precautions to make sure the germs are away and that you will be there for them if anything comes up.
Problem Solve for the Future
Sometimes walking through scenarios with your child will help them feel empowered. Bringing up situations and having them problem solve by asking how they want to feel about it. Give them some thoughts they can think to help them feel in control.
Assure them and teach them how to process negative emotions. That they can feel the emotion, name it and let the sensation pass through their body.
Offer some brainstorming to tricky situations they might encounter.
“If you can’t play with your friend at school, maybe we can invite them for a play date since the quarantine is lifted?”
“If you see me not paying attention to you, what can you do?”
Incorporating Play
Children learn though play. Sometimes if they are dealing with any anxiety or tension, using play can be very beneficial. Simple things like roughhousing, pretend play or special time are examples.
Laughing and playing with your child eases tension. Some games you play with them may help them feel connected and other games make them feel like they have control of a situation. A great book for more ideas on how to play with your children can be found in a book Playful Parenting.
Choose a game or an activity that you wouldn’t mind doing, so play doesn’t feel like a chore. Your kids will know if you are having fun or are just looking at the timer.
If you feel like you are operating from overwhelm and frustration during this time, consider the FREE mini training on how to attain calm and peace without changing your circumstances.
Click here to access free training.
