Parenting

Anxiety: Tolerating Negative Emotions

Anxiety and worry are the masters at making us run the other direction. Maybe it all started for you when you brought your newborn baby back home from the hospital. Your motherly instinct kicked in and feel like you needed to stop the crying right away. So you did all the things, fed them, clothed them in warm clothes, protected them against that biting toddler.

Those instincts served you well. They still serve you well when you are dealing with insuring survival.

Click here for the free anxiety course.

As your kids get older, it is easier to maintain the mindset that it is our responsibility to protect them from emotional pain and solve their problems. Suddenly, the instinct to protect might cause more harm than good.

Kids who are shielded from experiencing all ranges of emotional discomfort may lack the skills that they need to deal with certain situations. Things like stress in a situation can lead to a scene of anxiety, depression, peer pressure or being over dependent.

If you or your child struggle with anxiety, it may be time to change the direction.

But what if?

I can hear the replies already: “what if I fail?” “what if my child won’t handle it?” “what if I can’t handle it?”

But do you know what anxiety is really good at doing? It distracts you from looking at all the benefits of facing your fears to the risks.

The top reason parents resist letting their kids experience feeling anxious is because they don’t know how to tolerate worry and anxiety within themselves! Parents want their kids to feel good so that they can feel good.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting your child to feel good for your own sake. But just as it’s not your responsibility to make them feel good, it’s not their responsibility to make you feel good, either.

That’s up to you.

Experiencing negative emotion is a natural part of being human, and leads to emotional growth, maturity, and resilience.

The only person that you can control is you. It’s only when you become willing to allow feeling the anxiety and other negative emotions, instead of avoiding it or resisting it or reacting to it, that you’ll actually gain authority over it. When you gain authority over it then you will be able to move past it, be there for your child and help your child through it when they experience their own anxiety.

Go through it

Feel the anxiety and act on your decisions anyways.

Anxiety thrives on uncertainty.   The more you stay on the fence, the larger the feelings of worry, fear and anxiety grow.   The more you avoid, the harder it will be to move forward.

When you feel the feeling, let it pass through your body, you take away the power from anxiety.   You minimize it’s impact on your life. You feel more in control and less controlled by the anxiety.

There is freedom from fear when you are in charge of your emotional life.

There is no right or wrong way to face anxiety. Maybe that means you meet with a mental health professional, talk to your doctor, work with a coach or read a self help book. The important thing is to take a step toward dealing with anxiety by not resisting it or hiding behind it.

If you are dealing with anxiety and want to know how to feel better right away, I invite you to check out the free course on how to conquer your anxiety.

Click here for the free course.

What’s next…? Watch the YouTube video on 3 tips to help your anxious child next time.

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2 comments

  1. Thank you for sharing this! I have anxiety and it can make parenting super challenging. I appreciate any advice I can get.

    1. Jennifer, I hope that this helps you in your anxiety journey. I know there is a lot of factors going into anxiety but I know that there are options available.